How are
you doing? Nice to see you.
Before I
start, some people have a problem with my colorful words. My advice to
you.. “stay home!!!"
Having
said that, I’ll try to make the choice of my words as dull as possible,
can’t guarantee you of any thing, but I’ll try.
You know
today I came back from spending some time in Hawaii, and this is kind of a
new start for me and I’m volunteering to do this and its important for me
and, that’s why, might as well start with something general start with
something big.
Let’s
think about love, let’s talk about love, how deep is your love?
You know
I guess if you just talk to people in general and kind of observe how they
use the language, the word of love, they use it in a very, I guess, on a
secular level, they do use the word love a lot. I love chocolate, I love
Gucci, I love money, I would love to have all power, I’d love to have that
position or this position, I’d love to spend just one night with that famous
person.
And love
gets used a lot, in a way, kind of secularly speaking, it’s used like a
literary supplement to highlight or heighten your value and description of
your needs and that’s pretty much what love has fallen, come down to. That’s
how people use the word love in their lives. And just think about it, if
that is the definition and description in which people in general in
society, when we have to live gregariously constantly share with one
another, then what is the true meaning of love?
Does the
meaning of love end with the definition, the value that we at this point in
time are comfortable with or accept? Or does it have some greater meaning?
That’s why, I guess, people seek religion. Because something inside tells
them, I don’t know maybe some inner voice, whatever.
Because
you have to understand that in the individual self there is, like we all
know principle teaching, there is spirit, mind and body. We have physical
body, we have intellect, and we have spirit and self. And even in self,
there is three stages. So we understand that because of Father’s teaching,
but in the external world, in the secular world the understanding of even
the simplest thing that we pursue, we hold valuable, because of what we
understand, what we believe…what others believe is pretty foreign for us.
We understand why they want those things, why they love those things,
because, I guess, one time or the other you loved those things too. When
you want something more, that’s why you seek something greater, that’s why
you try to understand God. And that’s a life long process, it’s never
ending.
How do
you understand the depths of love, you know? Because when you look at God’s
way of love, many times you have to accept a lot of things that you don’t
want to accept. You don’t want the definition or value of love to be
something such as suffering…pain…misery. You have to be sadistic to like
that kind of stuff. If you’re a prize fighter you can teach or train
yourself to love pain, because that’s how you make a living. But beyond
that it’s very difficult to accept, because in many cases in the life of
pursuing God’s course or God’s ways or God’s understanding, or learning
about God’s definition of things in life it is opposite of what people
consider love to be. Because, you know, I like chocolate too, but if you
like chocolate too much you’re going to get fat.
Money’s
good, sure, you can buy a mansion, you can buy, not just one, buy ten of
them, have them strewn all around the world and take time off and go to
those places choose something, try to conquer the world again and be the
richest man on earth!
All
those things maybe you like to talk about, you like to think about them at
times, sure. There are many ways to go about, just if you don’t think about
those things, maybe it’s because I haven’t learned about these things almost
to the point of brainwashing ever since I was a boy. Maybe I can’t, you
know it’s very difficult for me to part from it, just cut away from it,
because I don’t want to go down in history as such and such and such,
because that’s kind of engrained into me. There are ways to go about
pursuing that kind of stuff, but if I do I’m going to go down in history,
because of my lineage, what I belong to, is something that I can’t ever
change.
Just
because you change my children’s name from Moon to Hong doesn’t mean that
they’ll forever be Hongs. People can do that, crazy people do those kind of
stuff, without my permission they can burn my son’s body, they can deprive
me of my last right to see my son, they can do that kind of stuff.
And what
happens after that?
I think
about the consequences no matter how at times, how difficult for me it is to
accept certain things. I have to think about those things because I believe
how I came to accept that, that’s not the problem. The situation is that I
believe it, that’s the problem. Because I accepted, I have to deal with
that issue, because I believe in the consequences, that’s why I have to make
and interpret things based on that direction and that’s why it is very
difficult for me to try and go the opposite direction, I struggle with
that.
I wish
when you think about, you know, giving excuses and stuff you can rationalize
things, yes I can do those kinds of things to, BUT WHY? What am I doing it
to? Who am I doing it to? WHY? For what reason? It’s like forget you,
don’t even talk about it at all…but that’s not important, that’s not
important.
I’m here
because I want to be here, not because it’s my duty, so I want you to make
the best of it. I know what duty feels like, you know, I was there pretty
much a long time, every Sunday, pretty much for eight years, but this is not
something of that nature, there’s something different. And I feel that I
have something to say and I’m going to do my best to do so.
So
having said that how do you go about trying to understand God’s love? First
I have to understand my parental love. If you want to go up everybody has
someone above them. Right? Even Messiah has Father. So immediately that’s
where I would start. That’s the first thing that you base yourself on and
of course in life you have bosses and stuff, subject and object relations,
but let’s just be intimate and the best way you can start in general that we
all have, which is parental relationship with self. So that’s the
fundamental kind of primeval subject and object relation that we can start
with.
In order
to understand your father, you have to understand yourself first. And
there’s “Where’s my limit, where do I belong in this relationship?” Many
people I see in the secular world like certain positions, and they’ll do
anything to achieve…attain it. But many times just getting it is not the
end of the story, it’s only half of the story. You have to fulfill the
postion, you have to understand the responsibility, you have to be
accountable for the position, the demands of the position that you have just
acquired by any means necessary.
So even
just having the position is not the end of the story. It’s just the
beginning. So just start with yourself, don’t think about any other
position that you’d like to achieve or attain. Think about yourself.
I’m
Father’s son, OK. What am I? Who am I? What is my limitation? How should
I define myself?
So when
you talk about the definition of yourself you have to understand the merits
of your responsibility. And what is that? What is the nature of my
responsibility? What is the merit of my responsibility? What is the
expectation? When you talk about merit you have to connect it to your
expectation, expectation of your position. Otherwise there is no meaning.
So when you talk about expectation, how do you go about trying to understand
the meaning of that stuff, if you don’t start to try to understand who is
your subject? Because, that is the basic relationship that you’re trying to
achieve. That is the beginning of understanding greater, ultimately God,
right?
If
Father is to far from me, let me start with Mother or something. You know
what I’m saying? Well I do have an older sister. Maybe if my older sister
can be some kind of indicator for me to understand and familiarize myself
with the basic direction as to how I have to approach understanding my
Mother. Then maybe that’s where I should start from. Sometimes you have to
take things step by step.
You
can’t just think big all the time. Especially when you want to be, if you
are really serious, you want it to be meaningful; if you really want to find
a quality, achieve quality, then you really have to take caution, right?
You have to do things step by step. You can’t just always take giant leaps,
maybe in general as humanity we can, but not as an individual, Right? So
that is where you should start. And if you get to know that, know your
ultimate, then maybe you’ll have a little more understanding as to what kind
of direction you should choose to make that contact and start to build
something on that, something more meaningful. And if you have that kind of
prepared knowledge then you can try it out, it can be exciting and it can be
more stimulating for you. Because you have the kind of properties that you
can bounce things off from because you have all sorts of greater options
that, maybe you’ll hit the mark, because ultimately in the end you have to
make it work, somehow. That’s your responsibility.
I mean
we understand God as a suffering God and He’s trying to make it work. So in
long waiting, of course, it can be perceived as something painful,
miserable, tremendous suffering, never ending agony and concern, worry. But
you have to start somewhere, so starting somewhere I feel that you have to
understand about who you are, and try to better make the best preparation
possible and try out all sorts of different things and find the thing that
works to make that connection upward, properly.
In the
past I just did it, I just did those kinds of things, I did what I was told
to do. I was kind of a crazy kid, I knew all the crap about the world when
I was young and there came a point in my life when I changed and I did
everything I was told. And I did my best that’s about it. Might as well, I
don’t like it, I really don’t like it, but if I’m going to do it, I might
as well do my best. Try my best. See what happens. What you see is what
you get.
Why
would I hide anything from you, the only reason that I don’t talk about it
is because I can’t. I’m not afraid of men. You can kill me, you can shoot
me dead, you can poison me, I’m not afraid of you, you think I’d lie to you.
I think
about myself first, okay.
Let’s
just talk about men. Things that men have problems with in dealing with
relationships I kind of simplify into a definition of three words…”triple A”
I call it: Arrogance, Aggression, and Ambition. And that is pretty much
the basic premise that we deal with in terms of subjectivity. And if
femininity the woman’s kind of stuff…I call “triple S” to keep it simple:
Sensitivity, Sensibility, and Seduction.
You know
why do men have a problem with aggression…and arrogance…and ambition? To
put it nicely, you know…Ambition is, ”oh he has a high goal”…Arrogance
is…”oh he’s proud”…and Aggression is…”oh your so tough and powerful”
And when
you look at physical self and intellectual self and spiritual self that
“triple A” stuff has a different meaning but all those different kind of
words have the same value in the end…there’s the same meaning. When you
talk about Messiah, you talk about him as an arrogant, ambitious,
aggressive, it just as different words describing that basic nature of it of
words that I’ve just used…that’s about it. How would you want to put it?
Absolute? Someone that demands absolute obedience, absolute faith.
All
those properties that we have, have a meaning behind it. But we abuse it,
we misuse it. Many things when we mishandle. It’s not the gun that kills
people it’s the people who pulls the trigger of a gun that kills people.
Everything that we have is a tool. We can misuse it. Our intelligence
first of all is a tool, therefore all the words that we create to enrich our
lives beyond monkeys are tools. So we can enrich our lives, you know, and
grow harmoniously and in an infinite way and all sorts of possibilities.
Even
music, anything that we have, instruments, it’s a tool, it’s only a tool.
TO DO WHAT? Of course that’s what we have to figure out and that’ll take a
lifetime. You’ll go through the journey of redefining, defining, revising
the value of words that we normally use till the day we die. And hopefully
everyone can always enhance the quality of it and in that, that will be the
ideal world, if everyone were to pursue that kind of endeavor. If they
never ever stop enhancing that quality of things that they understand and
try to enhance the quality the value and the definition of even the basic
things that we understand…till the day we die…never stopping. If you push
till the day we die. Yes we can change the world. Yes that would be the
beginning of the ideal world.
Because
we struggle with the things that we describe as our needs, that’s why we,
want to have religion, we want to unify that stuff. The basic stuff that we
rely upon to create community, to create society. And think about
yourself. Think about yourself just dealing with the basic understanding of
words that we, describe, that we use to communicate with one another.
There’s
a difference when you use basic language for children and your immediate
family and even the same meaning will have different kind of tone and you’ll
use a different kind of words with a similar meaning, but you’ll use it in a
different way. Or choose different words when you go to a tribal meeting a
social meeting or on national stage or on a global stage. This is kind of
informal for me, that’s why sometimes I would curse, but if this were some
kind of public rally I would choose to not use certain language. You know
what I mean. Who gives a hoot if I use colorful language at times? I don’t
think that that would demean the value of what I’m trying to say. If I’m
trying to make a point, that’s what’s important, and I don’t think that you
should be distracted by frivolous things because many times if you’re that
kind of person, I don’t think that you’re going to make it in this world, I
don’t think that you’ll be somebody, okay?
You
know, it’s very easy to criticize, but it’s very difficult to create
something, okay? And if you understand the value of that, the basic things
that are important in life and how to go about achieving it, you wouldn’t be
that critical that cynical. Because what’s important is the essence of
stuff that you try to create, and why do you do that? Because if you’re
trying to do it for God, you’re not doing it for the money, right? You’re
doing it for the sake of the betterment of federal man, right? Everybody
needs the secondary stuff, it’s not a primary concern. If blessing comes…so
be it. And if I’m more, I can give more that’s about it. I’m not going to
take it with me.
I see my
sister come and try to fundraise for Col. Pak. Did you guys give? I gave a
long time ago.
You know
you see people sometimes and you try to justify yourself and you pick and
choose what is favorable to you, that’s why I don’t like to make excuses.
I’d rather just say forget.
Anyway
if you talk about this love stuff there are just so many things that we have
to work out within ourselves, so when we paint the picture outward and try
and advertise as who we are, you gotta put that stuff, it has to be in the
stuff..you have to put the proof in the stuff.
You know
when I think about Shin Gil, I feel sorry in my heart, I feel sorry that I
couldn’t spend much time with him because I couldn’t, because the court
wouldn’t let me, it’s a unique circumstance, unprecedented stuff. In a way,
I know that is my victory when it comes to what had happened. But I feel
sorry that I couldn’t spend much time with him. And I really wanted to.
And it was just about at the point I could spend some time, because he would
be legally independent. That’s the kind of stuff the kind of gets you. We
were planning all this stuff and well I’ll just have to wait a little
longer. That’s about it we all die, we just have to die well. That’s what
is important.
And when
we look at our individual lives with our individual families…they are
constantly trying to understand the value of love. And normally you’d start
with language…the words that you use, because it’s basic it’s where
everything begins…with and idea, exchange of an idea. And we have to
understand the eternal concept of divine love so we have to begin
somewhere. And it starts with words. Words are very, very important to
little kids and the meaning of it, that they’re constantly asking you. And
if somehow pick out certain words and try to use it in their language and
they communicate with each other or relate with me. They’re constantly
trying to expand the understanding of it. And many times in that expansion
when they feel love is kind of interesting is because it has to be something
personal something that they can recognize as of value.
If we
talk about something of value, even kids with their limited understanding,
its important, they feel love and you somehow kind of promise them stuff,
and I’m going to give you more and more and more stuff. And the promise of
that expansion at that least that they like it, gives them all sorts of
tingling sensation in their head and they’re happy, because they understand
the importance of that possibility, because it is going to give them some
kind of fulfillment some joy.
And of
course you start with physical self pretty much those valuable needs to
those little kids are very, very tangible stuff. That’s where you begin.
Then as you grow as you mature, normally you start to see when a teenager
reaches a certain age maybe 15, or 16 or 17…friends become more important
than your whole family (your brother and sister your father and mother).
They start to become tribal they go beyond at a certain phase they go beyond
the family they will start to be tribal. And they expand to society and
nation… And in Korea and normally if you reach 60 years old and if you give
yourself 0…10…20…30…kind of decade and spread it out, it will take till
about 60 yrs to get to the global stage of some sort if you have a defined
pathway and you have preplanned some kind of program and if you’re
successful at it most likely you’ll reach that stage that phase. So in
Korea when you reach 60yrs of age, that’s where you begin again. Most
likely on the path they didn’t live that long so if they reached 60 yrs of
age obviously you’re getting a second chance at life. That’s kind of
process stuff but there is a philosophy behind it and that’s about it, your
life begins at that age…and why? That’s my interpretation.
So the
value of that kind of needs change as you move up in life from family to
tribe to society to nation, the value will change to the world and if you go
beyond it of course the value will change. In terms of your needs.
If I
started with a bunch of toys in the beginning but it will change as it goes
up. The value of your needs. The definition of your needs.
Because
ultimately you have to understand what God sees as defined love or valued
love. That’s what you have to understand. That’s what we’re trying to
understand and we have to constantly upgrade our value. The definition of
our needs.
That’s
the most important thing I feel if you want to understand God’s love. You
can’t just get stuck at a certain kind of level and say this is God’s love.
I think that’s stupid. I think that’s blasphemy. You have a basic
direction of love because in the end all this plus and minus, good and evil
stuff and tree of life it was all contained in the garden of Eden so the
important thing is what’s the next step. You just have to choose one
direction, that’s what absolute is. Because that’s what’s in yourself,
selfishness is bad, living for the sake of others is good and that’s plus
and minus and that’s what we start with. That reality will never change.
We’ll always have that individual self to deal with to try and accomplish
that task. Forever!
Certain
things can be habitual. We understand there are properties there, there are
tools out there even built in, innate. We just have to trigger it. That we
can use to make or make that kind of process, but all these things have to
be triggered has to be connected and triggered.
We do
have all the tools. But you have to understand what that is and trigger it
and keep it moving then you can automate it can be habituated. You have all
the basic stuff you just have to use it in a functional way.
You know
you can build you can make, give yourself a lot of bad habits, but you can
also give yourself good habits too. Right?
You can
teach yourself to give, right? Because there is great joy in it, there is
pleasure in it. And it’s better in your pocket than in my pocket and you
see that person just light up and you get a kick out of it. Even with the
simple kind of giving…with stuff. There’s a pleasure in it. And you can
make that into a habit. You can get addicted to that kind of stuff. Not
only things that can kill you.
So you
choose it. You have all this stuff even things that can kill you or in many
times save your life, right? Vaccination. There’s all sorts of stuff, we
just have to understand the meaning of it. Understand why it exists.
Define it properly. And as we heighten the definition into greater truth,
greater sensitivity, sensibility, yes, everything can benefit us based on
right choice making. Everything. It’s up to us. Some people get that,
that’s why you have to share that kind of stuff. You have a social duty to
do that kind of stuff if you’re civilized, right.
So
everything that is basic we already have it, we just don’t use it properly,
we don’t stress it enough at times. We kind of bury it away because someone
wants to be vainglorious, you know? That’s about it. That’s the only
reason that we struggle. Just think about it if we can focus the kind of
resources that we have we are absolutely unique. In certain ways we can
have more cash than any large corporation in the world in a given year.
How many
people will envy that, that’s something for people to envy about you know?
And
that’s reality! And at the same time we’re a unique church. Why, because we
put emphasis on the Blessing. And we actually have this kind of reality of
all this international blessing coming together, seeing the importance of
being engrafted, understanding the importance of lineage and trying to
establish that kind of foundation of substance based on the ideal of who we
are. That’s very unique.
We can
talk about all kinds of racial propensities and there is a lot of stuff that
we have to push and we have to challenge the world with, but can’t do alone
we need to have an army though. We can literally start a television network
with a certain amount of money with certain kind of characters. Yes we can
make it work based on if we have some kind of prepared investment capital
and if we’re willing to use it solely for that reason, sure, we’ll make it
work one way or another, in ten years. If they can do it, we can do it
absolutely. But that time will come.
Father
will do his best to complete his mission while He’s breathing, period.
Here’s the right way. That’s about it.
Do the
best you can. Father I hope you’re successful. That’s all I can do. I’ll
try to help you though if I can. Sure, I’ll do that.
But
taking the next step sure we can do that stuff. We already have that
foundation we just have to act upon it and then that day will come, I
know. I absolutely believe it. It’s not that difficult we already have
the, to do it. It’s just a matter of doing it. We can wait. That’s about
it.
You
measure your love.
How deep
is your love?
How far
away from God are you?
How do
you define love, you know?
How do
you define your needs?
Measure
yourself…I don’t know you, just as you don’t know me that well. If some of
you think you know me, you only know me because I had my obligation…my duty
to study in front of you for a long time that’s about it. And pretty much
that’s about it. And to me the reason I like the kind of creativity because
it keeps me simple, because that process is really painful and complicated.
So I like my life to be simple. I need that balance.
That’s
why I can’t really understand people who criticize…Bla, bla, bla, bla,
because they don’t understand that process. That’s why they just have so
much time on their hands and so much energy, they criticize, this
nonsensical garble, superficial analysis.
Do
something meaningful. If you really want to use your head make something
meaningful. Then you will truly appreciate the simplicity of life.
Only you
can’t start to see the essence of stuff unless your life is somehow
balanced. When it’s all jumbled up you aren’t going to find it. You want to
understand, to find God’s love? Find something. Bring some kind of balance
into your life. In order to do that you have to try to do something
meaningful, make something meaningful, create something meaningful. You can
start to recreate even the basic definition of what life is to you, the
things that are important to you, the needs that are important to you. Do
something that will actually be meaningful to you that can change you. If
you can’t expand outward yet, start with yourself first, you know? Only
then can you start to see some clarity. Otherwise everything is jumbled up,
you already have all this cynicism, criticism, all these jumbled thoughts in
your head. You’re not going to find anything.
So,
please, start with the basic things first. First stuff first. First things
first. Find a new definition of life. The things that are important to you
that leads to, I don’t even want to say love because that’s too big for me
even, even I’m trying to redefine the basic stuff, I don’t even want to
think about love. But it’s leading up to that stuff that’s about it.
That’s my faith.
Okay, I
hope that I shared something with you that you can use. Anyway, Take care,
okay?
